


Scorpius Seriously Can't Stand Fish

by xbluemist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Again, Angst, Bisexual Albus Severus Potter, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Dates, Double Date, Embarassment, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, Fluff, Frottage, Gay Scorpius Malfoy, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Hearty Chats, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, New Friendships, Pining, Rimming, Scorbus, Scorpius hates fish, Scorpius' pov, Scorpius' wet dreams are rather bold mind you, Shameless Smut, Smut, Sweet, Third Person POV, Thirsty Scorpius, a bit of butthole stimulation, also, and fish is basically a slang for minge, but for once it's not Al who's suffering, but without the flowery trash, getting caught, it goes alright, quite openly, reading hidden clues in the CC, simple but very hot, so much feels, we love openly homosexual Scorpius Malfoy, wet dreams, yup this is canon people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbluemist/pseuds/xbluemist
Summary: Scorpius has known that he's gay for longer than he can remember. He has also known that he's in love with Albus ever since he was eleven. But life just can't be too simple for him, can it?Where Albus explores new areas of teenage life, Scorpius buys James a special book, and double dates go better than expected.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter/Original Female Character(s), Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

"–is six thousand years old! Scorp, isn't that awesome!"

"Since when are you even interested in palaeontology?"

"I mean, people change, right? And this stuff seriously speaks to me."

 _Oh, does it now._ Palaeontology used to be 'boooring, Scorp, what you'd even use that knowledge for' when Scorpius came back from his trip to Egypt, last summer, with blisters from sunburn and a few heavy tomes on the topic. Somewhat, however, it's all he hears nowadays from Albus, ever since the other boy started showing signs of an infatuation towards a certain, bloody– stupid– Well. Towards Samantha Buckhead.

Scorpius sighs.

He has suffered through a lot. But it didn't break him. He is a strong boy, a brave fighter. Even if all he sees whenever he looks in the mirror is

a victim.

A weakling.

A failure.

He can see good in other people – perhaps a little more good than there actually is – but he remains blind at his own brightness.

He's never truly seen himself as someone who can be loved. Wanted. Needed.

He never feels safe. With the world. With himself.

He's difficult.

Different.

Weird.

Redundant.

He watches people around him enjoy themselves, often with their partners, and wonders if he'll ever experience this sort of happiness as well.

Whether Malfoys are cursed, somewhat, deprived of the right to ever find joy.

He tries not to show that. His weakness. His darkness. The dirt that could stain the carefree people around him.

He has to be better than that. Above who he truly is. Otherwise, how could anyone ever want him?

He found his soulmate in Albus. His joy, his comfort, his love. His heart sings at the thought of him. Whenever they talk, touch, or simply sit or lie together and just share space, Scorpius feels at home. Truly at home.

Albus is a treasure. One that Scorpius vows to protect at all costs, even if his own life were to be at stake. Albus' happiness is his highest priority. It's keeping Scorpius alive. He isn't able to feel happy when Al isn't happy.

Which is why he can't let his feelings ruin the moment and disappoint his best friend. Of course Albus wants to talk to him about his girlfriends – or in this case, potential girlfriends. They talk about everything.

In moments like this Scorpius isn't too sure whether he is glad for it or hates it.

The fact that Albus is being so excited is not surprising at all, considering how much of a low self-esteem he has. It must be quite thrilling to have someone show their interest in you.

 _Scorpius_ has that kind of interest in Al, but can he show it? It doesn't seem like a safe ground. He has no idea where to start. How to approach the topic. Perhaps he should drop some hints? Be gentle and cautious about it?

In all honesty, he wants to just scream the truth, straight in Albus' face. He wants that weight to finally be off his shoulders. It has lifted him up in the darkest, coldest moments where the world was a black hole, sucking the life right out of him, but it is also a tremendous burden to carry in his heart.

Especially in moments like this.

And Albus is so painfully thoughtful about it.

"Do you think she would think I'm trying too hard if I do my tie like that? Or is that what girls like? Crap. That one time in my life when I could use an older brother."

It's too sweet, but that sweetness holds such bitterness that Scorpius is barely keeping the awful grimace off his face.

"You know, I think Samantha might just be one of those people who appreciate the efforts. More things to do with your fingers that way, too–"

Scorpius, shut the fuck up. This is _not_ helping.

"Yeah? Hmm... And what do _you_ think, Scor? Do I look...?" He makes some vague hand movements, turning around.

Scorpius' heart clenches. _You look too good to be true. Please, stop. Stop doing this to me._

"Great. Very– You– Yeah, I like it. I mean, I'm sure she will like it. Everybody will stare at you, I'll bet, so if you want to make–" Stop. Talking. Weird. Shit. "You know. Make an impression. This is great."

"Yeah? I feel kind of ridiculous. It's not a _date_ , technically, we're just going to work on a bloody school project, Merlin, I _am_ overdoing it, aren't I? What the hell has happened to me, I was never– like _this_ before. Scor, please slap me or– shake me or something. _I need help._ "

Scorpius bites his lip, trying not to scream, 'I AM ALL YOU NEED, YOU MORON, PLEASE, UNDERSTAND THIS FINALLY', although the mere shock at the intensity of the urge works like a bucket of icy cold water.

"Come on, Al, stop thinking, just go and– do your thing. You'll do awesome, I'm sure. And remember to be back before curfew." With that, he pushes a somewhat stiff Al out of the dorm, shuts the door closed, and throws himself face-first onto his unmade bed. A scream that he lets out seems to have torn something out of his very soul.

_What the fuck was that?!_

Maybe he's caught some kind of fever. He should probably visit Hospital Wing, he hasn't been there in ages.

It really is a serious problem that nobody has come up with a potion for a broken heart yet. Scorpius would drug himself with that shit every day, happily.

* * *

The following days Scorpius spends mostly on practising relaxation through breathing. He has to. Otherwise, his jagged nervous system will break down sooner than later.

If he's being honest with himself, Scorpius isn't at all surprised that Albus and Samantha have grown closer to each other: Al is just too precious to not fall in love with him at least a little bit if he opens up to you, and long-term school projects are only an additional factor to help the budding relationship develop.

How bloody _cliché_ is that.

Turns out Scorpius is playing the third wheel now, because, apparently, the novelty of a new relationship is so much more exciting than the comfortable friendship you've been tending to for years.

Scorpius is saddened at the biting bitterness that is poisoning him, but he can't help it. It's impossible. Where are their chitter-chatters during breakfasts? They drown as soon as bloody _Samantha_ walks into the Great Hall. And Scorpius loses his appetite immediately (he swears he's lost a few pounds over the course of a week). Where are their lazy walks around the castle between classes? Ask the portraits, they've heard enough of that vomit-inducing sweet whispering and obnoxious sloppy sounds that Scorpius dreams were his.

The worst thing is, apart from that, Albus remains the same. The same sweet (if a bit grumpy), caring boy Scorpius can't help but love. He cannot bring himself to hate his best friend. It's not like Al is doing it all on purpose. Scorpius sees that Albus is trying to juggle between him and his new girlfriend. He understands that. He appreciates that.

He still dies inside whenever he sees Albus with a girl.

Why. Why him. Why did he have to fall for his straight best friend.

Scorpius tried to win over his feelings towards Al, but truthfully speaking, every single boy he lays his eyes on only reminds him of how much he would rather keep them shamelessly on his best friend. And how much more attractive he is. And how Scorpius will probably never have the same kind of relationship with any of those guys, because Albus is one in– there's not even a number for it.

He's simply _Albus_. No one could ever replace him.

Not even if Albus had a twin.

Speaking of...

"Wait. You've bought James a _book_? Wow, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, you _are_ a savage. What's he done to you, just tell me and I'll–"

"No, no, no, it's nothing like that, Al. Merlin. Do you honestly hold such a low image of your brother? We have talked some over the last summer, and I get that as a younger sibling you are biased, but hey, he can be pretty nice. People do mature, you know."

Al was still biting his lip, a deeply doubtful look on his face.

"Okay... let's agree that James has developed some kind of maturity over the past year. Why a book, though? I've never seen a book in his hands, apart from some quidditch stuff. Not even a school book. I'm telling you, this one is going to stay on his shelf and collect dust, at best."

"Well, I've seen him in the library a few times, and he did have reading glasses on, so I suppose he was there to read."

" _Reading glasses_?" Al snorts. "Uh-uh, I'll _bet_ he only bought them to have more people cramming into his bed."

Scorpius shrugs. He thinks James looked rather fine with those glasses on, but mostly because it made Scorpius imagine how _Albus_ would look in them. They'd suit his face so well... And no, they weren't 'Harry Potter glasses'! They had an elegant square shape that would perfectly emphasize that gorgeous square line of Albus' jaw...

Merlin, he really shouldn't be thinking that _right now_. The way he has tucked his cock would keep a potential boner hidden but all the more uncomfortable.

Blinking himself back to reality, he realises Al is flicking through the book Scorpius bought for James, a sort of flushed look on his face.

Scorpius doesn't want to dig too deep into the reason for why that expression is making his stomach tighten in both disappointment and arousal.

"So, uhm." Al closes the book. "Good gift for a..." He glances at the title. "Fish pie connoisseur, huh?"

Scorpius bites his lip. _Come on, Scorpius, it's now or never. You have a perfect opportunity!_

"I suppose James would appreciate it, even if you're right and he's not, in fact, secretly a _book_ connoisseur. This particular one is not something that could feed our friendly discussions, I'm afraid, but I thought it could come in handy for him. What do you think?"

Albus is still eyeing the book in a rather strange manner.

"Still hard to tell, honestly, I mean, James and books... even _that_ kind of books. Well, let's wish this one good luck. So, uhm. From what you're saying," he begins tentatively, "I get you're not into...?" He trails off, eyeing the book meaningfully.

Scorpius blinks at him. Then looks down at the book. Salazar, his brain is going through some ice age whenever he's around Al, or what.

"Well, I most definitely can't stand fish. Both literally and figuratively speaking. That hasn't changed. _Sausages_ , on the other hand, now, that is an entirely different thing. Is, uhm," he nibbles on his bottom lip, "Is that okay with you?"

Al shrugs, but his expression grows even more unreadable and Scorpius is slowly starting to lose his breath. "Sure, why wouldn't it be. Everything stays the same. Unless you are not okay with, like, the hugs and stuff...?"

That expression just makes Scorpius want to reach out and hug him right there and then, Merlin.

"No, I'm okay! Everything can stay, yeah, I don't want any change." He releases a breath he's been holding. "I'm glad."

Albus smiles, and the warmth washes over Scorpius– gods, this is such a brilliant torture.

"You know, actually..." Scorpius clears his throat, but his tongue feels oddly uncomfortable in his mouth. "Actually, I have– something to tell you. I didn't want to but–" Now. Or. Never. Perfect opportunity! "I can't keep it in any longer." He glances at Al, almost apologizingly.

Al's expression immediately morphs into a concerned frown, the way he leans in towards Scorpius makes it somewhat both more and less difficult. "What is it?"

Scorpius takes a deep breath...

...and feels a wave of nausea.

_Oh god._

"I– uh, hang on..." He storms out of the dormitory.

He barely makes it to the bathroom before he locks the door and hovers over the toilet, begging his stomach to stop its violent spasms.

"Ugh..." he groans, his limbs shaking.

Merlin. He didn't realise he's gotten so nervous. What a rollercoaster it's been lately. He fears he won't last long.

Suddenly, there is a soft knocking on the bathroom door.

"Scorp?" _Shit_. "You okay there?"

_Deep breath, Scorpius, just take a nice deep breath._

"Y-yeah, 'm fine." Such shallow words.

"You sure? I'll be there, in case you need something, okay?"

Scorpius nods, instinctively, although Al obviously can't see him right now.

Merlin, no. He can't do this. He just can't. Al doesn't mind that he's gay. Okay. But what are the chances that he's gay as well? Scorpius has seen him doing _stuff_ with girls, and he looked like he very much enjoyed himself. Scorpius would rather burn the stifling memory of that blasted evening when Al had come back to the dorms, hair in an even bigger disarray than usual (Scorpius' insides did a massive jump at the sight, that sent unbearable longing through Scorpius' body and nearly took his breath away), lips swollen and smeared with lipstick (that felt like a big, ugly _punch_ to the guts), and a hazy look on his face (Scorpius wanted to fucking _crumble_ at that point). He could bloody _smell_ some kind of sweet, floral perfumes lingering on him, and the realisation of just what exactly made Al smell of them made him sick.

He was feeling like shit for a good week afterwards, even though when Al told him about his ventures, all worked up and eyes bright, he didn't sound like they went past the _decent_ sort of activities. Maybe. Scorpius didn't know. He didn't want to know. But also, he did want to know and that inner conflict was making him restless. But he doesn't want to think too much about that. Not right now, not ever, if he has any say in it. The point stands, Al is into birds. Clearly. Scorpius hasn't seen him ogle any boys or do anything that would remotely speak 'I'm into guys as well'. Which is why Scorpius believes his friend would not feel comfortable should he find out that Scorpius has a crush on him.

A massive crush.

Scorpius is actually perfectly aware that this crush is a more serious thing – _much_ more serious – but calling it simply 'a crush' is basically the only thing keeping him from, well, crushing under the weight of the feeling. It's pretty much the last and only thing that is still keeping him somewhat sane.

Maybe he should tell Albus the truth, after all... Albus will ask, inevitably, and what is Scorpius going to tell him? 'Nah, just some food poisoning, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that sandwich at Hog's Head today'?

I mean, it does sound legitimate. Also, that sandwich did concern Scorpius but he was _hungry_ (weeks of eating half his usual amount of food per day came back with vengeance).

Nah, love confessions can wait. If not today, then maybe... maybe next week.

 _Or perhaps never, how about that_. Scorpius sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a fan of fics where there's more pre-Scorbus than there's actual Scorbus. But I'm done with seeing tons of Albus angst everywhere lately, which inspired me to write something to balance that. So there you go! Something different at last.
> 
> Also, don't worry, this time it's not a WIP, I just wanted to divide it into chapters to make editing easier. So, second chapter should be up very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

A new day feels like a warm fog hiding myriads of possibilities. It envelops Scorpius' naked body, strokes his bare skin like a caress from the universe, a whisper of "you're safe, you're loved, you're perfect".

Scorpius sighs, deep and slow, as if it could fill his lungs with that magical bliss. He's swimming in his private heaven, hard nipple turning darker between his relentless fingers, the other hand playing with his hard cock.

Al has made it hard, so hard. He had entered Scorpius' thoughts inevitably, filled his heart with passion, the heat of which soon caused him to break into a sweat at the mere thoughts...

Just thoughts...

They are so full of shape and colour, rich with sounds and scents. And _touch_. Touch is everywhere. Scorpius is enveloped by a warm, sturdy body of his best friend. He imagines sucking and licking on Al's cock, relishing in the gradual lengthening until his mouth is full and he almost chokes on the warm seed.

He imagines Al's come splattering all over him, warm and creamy, marking his naked body as he accepts it all in the ultimate statement of adoration and submission.

He imagines Al pushing him face-first onto his bed, spreading him so that no part of Scorpius remains a secret to him, and taking him up his arse, so hard, so good that Scorpius cannot contain his mindless screams.

He thinks of the dirty splotches of bruises that bloom on his milky skin, a proud memorial of those sweet lips worshipping Scorpius' eager body.

He imagines so many wonderful scenarios, one more obscene than the other, and each one almost makes him come but he's deliberately keeping himself on the edge, wanting to savour as much as he can before all of it floods down and post-orgasmic bliss makes him forget what it means to crave an intimate touch, even if only for a few calm minutes.

He glances at Al's empty bed, longing dancing on his face with wanton need. Gods, he wants Al inside him so bad, his entrance pulsing excitedly at the thought. He arches up, letting out a delighted hiss as he pinches his sensitive nipple, the other hand fisting the head, stroking that sensitive spot just below, and he's so close, _gods, he's about to_ –

_Click._

_Fuck!_

Shit– Albus– just came in here– what– Shit. _Shit._

The entire bliss evaporates just like that and Scorpius scrambles, desperate to cover himself with the sheets. He's trying to look nonchalant and not at all like Al just came in on him fucking jerking off to dirty fantasies, but he fails miserably because he's blushing like mad and panting like he just run a good mile and a half, and he could not hide _that_ if his life depended on it.

Which it just might right now.

Al's carefree face morphs into a frown of confusion that then gives place to understanding.

_Please, can I disappear right now?_

"Aren't you coming for breakfast?" he asks, staring at Scorpius with those eyes so green and deep and intense and... and–

Scorpius squirms, feeling his cock leak a little.

"Uh, sure, I'll be... ready in a sec," he croaks. The embarrassment he's feeling could rival all the other embarrassing situations in his entire life.

But then– Merlin– what is going on. Al walks further into the room. He has closed and locked the door, and Scorpius' eyes widen, his heart beating frantically in his heaving chest, his brain having serious troubles processing the situation.

Al comes over, slowly, to finally stand right by Scorpius' bed, and each step equals one drop of sweat down Scorpius' back.

"You're naked?" It's not _quite_ a question.

The heat on Scorpius' face grows. He must be ridiculously pink by now.

"Uh..." He wants to shrink. Fuck, he's _so hard_.

He almost faints when Al reaches out and peels the sheets off Scorpius' naked body. Scorpius' cock is hard and heavy – _obviously_ – jutting from between his thighs. He bites his lip and looks away, raising his leg to hide his massive arousal, embarrassment a scorching heat on his cheeks.

And then– _Merlin fuck_ – Al's hand presses down on his leg, gently forcing it back down... and open. Al's gentle hands spread his legs wide, enough so that Al can climb between them.

Which he does.

Between Scorpius' legs.

Fuck.

Adrenaline rushes through Scorpius' veins, making him tremble horribly, his heart beating so fast Scorpius could swear it's about to jump out of his chest. And yet, his cock is fucking twitching, like a flag in the wind, out and proud, clearly not sharing Scorpius' painful embarrassment at being thus bared. Merlin, the way Al is watching him, his eyes boring into Scorpius' own while Scorpius just sits there, paralyzed. And naked. And embarrassed.

Aroused like never before.

 _Please_ , he wants to say. _Please, just fuck me already..._

Al's predatory gaze is screaming his satisfaction at having Scorpius so sweetly aroused and at his will. His hands move to start massaging Scorpius' trembling inner thighs, so, _so_ close to the most private parts of his young body, and Scorpius really _cannot_ contain a little whimper that opens his lips. He bites his lip, practically hyperventilating, his whole body quivering like a fucking earthquake, and he knows – _he just knows_ – that he's going to shatter in no time at all.

Naked.

In front of Al.

With Al _watching him_.

His cock hard like it's never been, pulsing painfully, just _begging_ for attention.

But Al's attention switches instead to Scorpius' little pucker hidden between his cheeks, and his intoxicating touch travels there, stroking the groove between his arsecheeks, circling his quivering virgin hole.

"Fuck," a weak moan tears from Scorpius' throat as he collapses onto the pillow under the incredible waves of pleasure that feel bizarrely powerful, coming from such light touch.

It's the magic of Al's touch, it's the fact that it's _Al_ who is touching Scorpius, there, in that secret place, Scorpius has been dreaming about Al claiming _for ages_.

"Please..." he mewls, canting his hips involuntarily, spreading his legs a bit more.

Merlin, Al's finger is barely catching on Scorpius' rim, so fucking arousing a touch, and precome oozes out of Scorpius' poor neglected cock.

Al's teasing fingers stroke up Scorpius' perineum, making Scorpius gasp and arch slightly in an instinct. Al cups Scorpius' balls, swollen and heavy, soft and so perfect, so round, feeling delicious in Al's warm, eager hand.

Scorpius moans, little sounds spilling from his lips, panting like a desperate boy that he is.

Christ, he's outright _gagging_ for it.

He wants Al so much, his body quivering from the overwhelming pleasure as Al keeps touching him so intimately, like Scorpius thought he could only dream Al would.

Scorpius' hand drifts to his cock, but Al catches it and pins Scorpius down with his dark gaze.

"Please, Al..." he mewls again, canting his hips to graze his erection against Al's knuckles. He's sweating from the arousal, so hard, and feels like he's about to come.

A deep growl rises in Al's throat and in a blink he's pressing Scorpius into the mattress, kissing him– no, _devouring_ him like a thirsty madman.

Scorpius whimpers and feels his body arch into Al, tensing as the painful, thick, heavy tension rushes through his cock in a series of spurts, coating his heaving torso with his release.

Al groans, sucking at Scorpius' tongue and mouth hungrily, before he pulls back. Panting, Scorpius watches as Al glances down, but he's so gloriously high on the aftermath of his orgasm that he doesn't even have the space in his brain nor the energy left to be embarrassed – and he just bloody came _from a kiss_.

Merlin.

But _what a kiss_ it was!

So perhaps he is justified, after all. What is Al thinking about his performance, though–

"Fucking _hell_ , Scorpius," Al breathes, Scorpius' name like butter, like hot chocolate, scorching in an erotic hiss in Al's lips.

Scorpius feels a wave of heat rush to his spent cock and he swallows a groan.

There is no time for any more words, however, because next thing Scorpius knows, Al is devouring him again, this time with even more of that overwhelming ferocity, but fuck if Scorpius doesn't just _live_ for it.

And then there is a sound of a zip, and Scorpius could fucking come again, because– christ, Al's hard, hot cock is rubbing against Scorpius' come-covered belly.

Ohhh, the _feel_ of it... Scorpius cannot wait until he has that hot length in his arse. He wants to worship the wonderful penis with his inner walls, clench around it as he rides the shot out of it.

He mewls at the thought, wrapping his arms tighter around Al's neck as Al bathes his cock in Scorpius' come like a maniac.

"So hot... so good... _love_ your come, Scorpius..."

I love your _everything_ , Scorpius thinks, and he'd tell Al that, if not for the fact that Al's lips are so wonderfully preoccupied with Scorpius', and Scorpius has no interest in putting an end to that brilliant phenomenon.

His whole body is _screaming_ at him to get as close to Al as possible.

"Touch me, Scor... want your hand on me... fuck yes," Al rasps, and Scorpius complies, more than happy to finally – finally! – be able to touch that delicious part of Al's body.

"Fuck yeah... fuck... fuck, Scor, baby... Come on, show me what you got..."

Adrenaline dominating him, Scorpius rolls them over and slides down the length of Al's body, hungry like a starved jaguar, and then the heavy weight of Al's silky, throbbing erection is in Scorpius' mouth, deep in his throat, and Scorpius is so glad that he had been needy enough to incorporate blow jobs on a dildo into his masturbation sessions. Because, Merlin, Al has a good piece of a cock.

Scorpius wants to be good for him, so good, _the best_ , so he tries to apply everything he has learned about sucking dick, everything to make Al fall apart and come in Scorpius' waiting, virgin throat.

Scorpius' own cock is already hard, hanging heavily between his legs, and he thrusts his hips, rutting against the bed, certainly leaving trails of precum but he doesn't care at the moment. All that matters right now is to make Al come, to hear and taste his pleasure, because, gods, Scorpius has been wanking himself raw to thoughts of that (unfortunately, that is not an exaggeration) and he's going to relish in the fact that _he's doing this_. He's _actually_ doing this.

"Yeah... You're so good at this, baby, can't wait to fuck you," Al breathes, stroking Scorpius' hair, and Scorpius hollows his cheeks, groaning happily.

It's so wonderfully erotic, he thinks, that before Al came here, he didn't have sex in mind at all, but now all he was able to think about was fucking Scorpius. Scorpius did this to him, turned him on with his body. Albus' cock is so hard in Scorpius' loving mouth, ready to enter Scorpius, ready to make him see stars as he fucks him.

"Gods, I want your hole, Scorp, come on, show me it!"

Scorpius releases Al's hard member with a wet, loud 'pop' and glances into those mesmerizing eyes, just for a second, before turning around and spreading his legs, arse high in the air as he spreads his cheeks for Al, so that the other boy can make him ready, so ready for him... Like a horny boy that he is.

Al drapes himself over him, grinds his cock into Scorpius' exposed hole, and he's so wonderfully hard, Merlin...

Scorpius mewls in delight at the feel of Al's lips trailing hot, wet kisses down his back. He arches into it, shivering in bliss and anticipation.

Oh yes, oh yes... he whispers, as those sweet lips near his hole. He spreads his legs wider, trying to invite Al inside, wanting to show him how much he _needs_ him, every single thought in his mind full of Al and sweaty sex and needy cock and–

"Ah!" He wails uncontrollably, because the sudden sucking force surrounded his quivering entrance, oh so glorious, and he can't contain himself, he's going to come like that, can already feel that vague tingling of an upcoming bliss...

A soft, low moan wakes him up before he realises that the sound came out of his own throat... and he has his fingers wrapped around his cock. Which is hard.

So bloody hard.

But what– Oh fuck. _The dream_. He just had a dream. Yet another one, so sweet and delightful it breaks his heart to realise, again, that those dreams are, most likely, the closest he would ever get to have Al to himself like that.

The crushing weight of the cold reality is too much to bear right now, right after that sweet feeling of utmost happiness at Al's intimate touch and the sheer brilliancy of the perspective of having that cock penetrate the tight depths of his longing hole... All of that is running away, fast and blurry in the form of tears that Scorpius really can't help. The contrast of the bliss he craves and the reality of it being impossible to get is just too much.

Too much for him.

Cursing his brain for taunting him with all those blissful scenarios, he rolls onto his side and hugs the duvet tightly, the ache of loneliness in his heaving chest stifling. It mixes with the needy throbbing between his legs, creating such a confusing feeling for his sleepy brain: sheer, primitive sexual desire intertwined with deep emotional thirst, the overwhelming need for love.

But he refuses to jerk off, because he knows that right now, with those images so fresh in his mind, he wouldn't be able not to give up to the sweet fantasy. And he isn't going to wank to the thoughts of Albus.

He can't. Because this would only make his crush on the other boy more real. More daunting.

More painful.

Every day it grows, strong and steady against all the pain. And Scorpius simply does not know how to break free. It seems impossible.

He'll be forever longing after him. Never enough to be The One for Albus. Never the right one for that gorgeous, perfect boy.

He lies in the night, succumbing to sleep, lulled by his tears. Drop... drop... drop... Each fresh one for yet another painful thought.

* * *

The following days bring no change. Things remain like they used to be. No sign of the destruction that Scorpius was so convinced would occur.

Al asks him about the incident from the other day but Scorpius' stomach still tightens painfully at the perspective of possibly ruining what he has with the other boy. He can't tell him. He cherishes their friendship too much to risk. And even though, deep in his heart, he trusts that Albus stands on the same ground, he knows – he isn't stupid – that such confession wouldn't leave no effect on their relationship. Something _would_ change for them, inevitably.

Scorpius is just too scared. It paralyzes him. He savours every bit of contact he has with Al, but guilt creeps in every time, because _the feelings, the fantasies, the dreams, the longing for more_. All of it is slowly corrupting their relationship.

Scorpius despises himself for feeling this way.

Yet he has no power over that. When he's falling asleep, he feels so lonely, and the feeling only grows every night, it feels like. Every cell in his body aches for some love. For someone to cuddle with, to feel the warmth of their body pressed lovingly against his own.

To feel their warm smell, close his eyes and just listen to their breaths.

He often wonders if Albus would be up for it. Probably...

But fear never gives up. Because what would that do to Scorpius' heart? He fears it would be too much for him, to have such circumstances.

And it scares him even more. What if he'll break at some point and do something... something he shouldn't do. What if he disappoints Al as a friend? What would he do with himself if he accidentally hurt the most important person in his life?

It isn't Al's fault. Of course it isn't. He never seems able to recognize the good in himself, always living in the shadows of his own insecurities. But Scorpius can see what a wonderful man Albus is. It's easy to fall in love with him, it really is.

Scorpius knows all too much about that. He feels like he has been in love with Al forever. That magical _something_ that he had felt the moment they first met – possibly the biggest day of his entire life – was significant. He often wonders if Al had felt it too.

A few more weeks spent on obsessively drowning his pain in studying and devouring every random book that caught his eye, he decides he needs a break. He doesn't feel like it, but he knows he should at least try to busy himself with something different.

In a desperate attempt at trying to fill the void in his chest, he approaches Jordan Glassdrop, a fellow Ravenclaw, one day and asks if he would be interested in a date in Hogsmeade. In all honesty, he was convinced nothing would come out of it, so the shock when he receives a jovial agreement renders him somewhat stuttery for the rest of the day.

Which of course concerns Albus.

"I asked Jordan out. Hogs– Hogsmeade. And he said yes." Merlin.

Scorpius is certain the look Al is giving him only looks weird because Scorpius' brain isn't working too well today, since his voice holds no signs of the resignation that Scorpius wished was there in those green eyes.

"Hey, that is awesome! Excited, huh?" He smirks.

Scorpius wants to collapse and cry.

"Yeah... He seems like a nice guy and... you know, since you're taking, er–"

"Janett," Albus supplies airily, getting back to his homework.

"Yeah. Well, I thought we could go... together, perhaps? As in, double date?"

Merlin, what has come to his head?

Al raises his brows and Scorpius is honestly getting tired of being unable to decipher his best friend's facial expressions. "Yeah, sure, we can. Does Jordan know?"

Crap.

"I did suggest that to him, yes."

This is the worst idea he has ever had.

"Alright. Awesome!" He jumps off his bed suddenly. "I'll let Janett know."

"Sure."

Al rushes out of their dorm and Scorpius walks over to his bed and collapses onto it, feeling probably even more empty than he has been over the past weeks.

And if that was bad, he was not prepared for the despair he experiences at the actual date.

Scorpius hadn't known Jordan much at all when he asked him out, but he's glad to discover the Ravenclaw is as easygoing with him as he always seems to be with any of his peers whenever Scorpius saw him in the corridors. Being with him is just _effortless_. Which is a nice kind of refreshment, considering how much pain Scorpius' feelings bring him sometimes when he's spending time with Albus.

That might also be the only thing that is keeping him from going insane at that blasted double date – because Janett is talking obnoxiously loud, pointing at people and shamelessly commenting their _fucking everything_ (apparently, wearing a scarf that matches your trousers makes you look like a poor excuse for a fashionable wannabe, well, Scorpius is going to match his favourite cashmere scarf with whatever nice pair of trousers of his he'll lie his eyes on, fuck being fashionable. Wait, _Al is agreeing?!_ ...Crap. That makes things much more complicated), and yet Albus is all lovey-dovey and hearts-in-the-eyes as he pretty much doesn't take his eyes off her.

_What the hell is wrong with the world!_

Scorpius is secretly proud of Jordan, in a weird sort of way, for presenting a much higher level of propriety than Albus' date.

Scorpius just can't understand how someone so thoughtful and good like Al and just– just overall _better_ than most people could fall for someone so painfully shallow.

If there was anything that reminds Scorpius why he generally prefers not to associate with other people, it would be that bloody dyed blonde who is currently basking in what she clearly does not deserve.

Scorpius wants to _scream_.

But alas, the whole 'double date' was, after all, his oh so _brilliant_ idea, which means that he has to suffer through the entire fifty-seven minutes of his heartbreaking and his brain tying itself up while trying to understand his best friend's tastes.

To think he could have spent the day reading the next chapter on the evolution of the mermen culture...

On top of that, now his favourite strawberry cream and chocolate cake will remind him of that traumatic double date. Why? Why was he so naïve? Why couldn't he have ordered some obnoxious drink and get himself high on the bitter, nauseating taste? It would fit his overall emotional state perfectly.

Now, finally outside of that stifling place, Scorpius can breathe again (the fact that he doesn't have any fucking Janett in his field of vision does help a great deal). He can walk his frustration out, spend some time alone with Jordan...

Yes. Not everything in his life sucks lately (he still tries to see the light! He really does!).

"So..." Jordan begins as they walk down the pleasantly uncrowded street. "Usually guys want to do some, you know, _stuff_ when we go out. And how about you, Scorpius? You don't seem that much into it...?"

He doesn't sound accusatory or pushy at all, and Scorpius actually feels guilty. He doesn't just seem not to be that much into _stuff_ , he must seem not to be much into Jordan himself, he realises, shoulders hunching automatically, as though that could make him disappear. Merlin, he's not being a good companion at all. How could anyone want to spend time with him, if all they would see is Scorpius forgetting that they're sitting right next to him?

"Indeed, I'm sorry, it's just that I'm still healing from an unfortunate crush, to be honest." He lets out a short, soft laugh that sounds more dry than anything. "I'm enjoying your companion, I really am, but I'm not sure if I want to– do any _stuff_... yet."

 _Oh, come on Scorpius, what is the point in pretending? You know you wouldn't be ready for a relationship for a long time yet._ Not when every boy makes him miss Albus more and more.

That was, in fact, all he was able to think about for the entire past hour while he was trying not to combust in his seat and not listen to Janett's nonsense babbling: what it would be like to go out on a date with Albus. What would it be like to hold hands with him, to look him in the eyes like the biggest sap in the world. What would it be like to feed him cream from his hot chocolate and kiss the sweetness from his lips...

"No problem. We can simply walk around, if that's what makes you feel better. I'm all up for a simple, peaceful walk."

Scorpius smiles softly. "Sounds good, but we can definitely talk as well. If you want to. I must warn you, though, I'm not that good at it, so you can expect tons of awkwardness."

"Hey, I'm pretty sure you aren't _nearly_ as awkward as you think. Maybe you just never met the right companion?"

Jordan looks good when he winks, Scorpius notices. Really good.

But then, his mind proceeds to conjure dozens of memories of the same look on Al, and there it is, that familiar, stifling sadness again.

"Yes, the right companion is an important factor, definitely," he grins, bravely trying to push the creeping sadness away.

"Frankly? I would be more than happy to wash my brain because that doll your friend has brought seems to be made of some toxic kind of plastic, if you know what I mean."

Scorpius shakes his head, agreeing wholeheartedly. "Oh Merlin, let's not even talk about that."

A few silent seconds pass during which Scorpius tries desperately to make some kind of use of his currently painfully messy stash of conversation ideas, but thankfully, Jordan saves him.

"You know what, while I must admit I've been kind of," he scratches his neck, "admiring your looks from afar for some time now, I figured you're a rather more interesting person than most people that I have gone out with. Which is why I didn't think twice when you asked me out the other day; I'm a bit tired with people who look purely for physical stuff. I mean, sure it's great, but there's more to a person than that, and being treated like just a nice body to play with becomes a bit... it kind of messes with your self-esteem. I mean, we all want to be recognized as human beings, right? Not just as sex-crazed animals."

"You are very right. I think most people would say that since we're still young we should focus on having fun before we decide to go into serious relationships, but hey, who said that you can only have deep, meaningful relationship with someone in a _romantic_ sense? Friendships are not extinct kind." He shakes his head.

Jordan laughs. "Thank Merlin, I thought I'm making a sentimental sap out of myself. Or rather, that's what I suppose many people would think; I personally don't think that about it. By the way, I never thanked you for this date, so... thanks, Scorpius. You seem like an awesome guy; I'm glad we could get to know each other a little bit better."

"Oh." Scorpius isn't sure why his heart is beating so fast. Is it surprisement? Is it fear? This _is_ an entirely new situation, after all. "Thank you, I'm flattered. Although I guess I should thank myself for feeling confident enough to ask you out, in the first place." More like desperate for a new kind of distraction... but never mind the details. "I mean, you could have literally anyone and certainly there are a lot of more interesting people in Hogwarts than me, so..."

"Are you actually trying to say you're in the lower league?"

"Kind of..."

"I mean, I do get this very well, but hey, just look at you! You're not only good-looking, if you ask me. I don't know much about you, sure, but I could not notice, for instance, that you're a very passionate student, am I right? You shine in most of our classes."

"I see, but that is not impressive. Anyone can be that."

"Yet barely anyone actually is. I'm sure you're hiding treasures inside. Everyone does, I think. And knowledge is a big one. But that is not all. For example, you are not awkward at all, like you thought you were going to be."

"Am I?" Scorpius chuckles. "Haven't noticed."

Jordan is watching him for a second with his deep brown eyes, and a strange sort of feeling fills Scorpius, as though he was standing at the passage to another world that offers infinite landscapes to explore. "There's a lot of good things about us that we don't notice. People say humility is a virtue, but not if it means not recognizing your true worth, your achievements. I hope I'm not coming off too strong, I know I can be, but, please, Scorpius, don't close your eyes at the good in you. We tend to not respect ourselves on that basis, and as silly or overly protective as that may sound, I don't want people like you to suffer because of that. I've been there, still am, if I'm being honest, and it's not a healthy place. No one can take care of ourselves like we can. And on the other hand, few things can harm us more than we can harm ourselves."

Scorpius blinks away the wetness gathering in the corners of his eyes. "Are you some kind of spiritual mentor sent by Merlin, or what?" he laughs. "It does hit home, what you just said. Thank you."

"Nah," Jordan waves his hand dismissively, "it just comes out sometimes, I swear I couldn't keep my mouth closed if my life depended on it." He grins at Scorpius.

"Oh, I know something about that," Scorpius smiles softly. "You seem like a wonderful guy yourself, I wish– well. I wish life was just a bit easier in some ways."

"Don't we all... Speaking of, I'm not saying I wouldn't love to spend more time with you, if you know what I mean, but, I wouldn't want to stand in your way. You know, referring to that crush you mentioned. My father always told me, 'do what _you_ want, not what others want of you. If we can't have it all in life, at least let us have our own values be the fuel, not other people's'. And yet I still forget about that sometimes."

"It's difficult not to, though, right? If you want to fit in and all that..."

"Yup, that is a big problem." He looks thoughtful as he sweeps his gaze over the buildings they pass by.

Scorpius follows his gaze and his face lits up. "You visit Zonko's sometimes?" He points at the shop with his chin.

"Aaah, right, that's a recipe for fun. You heard they have upgraded their cloaks collection?"

"Gods, they were some nasty stuff," Scorpius chuckles, opening the door to the shop and experiencing an expected shock at the transition from the quiet street to the crowded place full of chatter.

He does feel happy, somewhat, even if inside he's still in a very dark, cold place. But, he figures, if he ever decides to get over his crush on Al– well, that would never happen, he just knows that but, at least he wouldn't be completely doomed: there are still kind guys out there who he can have a good time with.

And it's much healthier than sitting on his arse in the library all day, inhaling tons of dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: That smut is one of the many of the 'unrealistic porn' kind of smuts I have written throught the years, and actually, it started this entire fic.


	3. Chapter 3

When Scorpius walks into their dorm later that evening, red-cheeked and with a heavy bag of goodies hidden in his pocket, Albus is sitting on his bed, a piece of parchment in his lap. He must have run his fingers through his hair a lot because they are in such a beautiful mess... Oh, and there is a smudge of ink on his chin. On top of that, he's nibbling at the other end of his quill, and Scorpius' teenage body could only react in one way to that image.

Merlin.

"Hey," Scorpius greets him, walking over to his trunk. All his homework is stacked neatly in his drawer, which means he has nothing important to do, basically, and after a long day he's more than ready to bury himself in his cosy bed.

Al looks up, apparently having been completely immersed in whatever he's writing.

"Scor, hey! You okay?" He frowns.

 _Umm...no._ Not quite.

"More than, but I'm exhausted." He makes a show of stretching languidly. "Jordan is great, though, we had so much fun today." He smiles, and although the part about Jordan was definitely not a lie, he wants to cry because Al clearly isn't upset that Scorpius has found someone _and life is just so fucking unfair_.

Al nods slowly, something flickering in his eyes. Or maybe it's just Scorpius' wild imagination...

"That's awesome," he smiles as well. "You two look good together. I'm glad you found him."

Scorpius bites his lip and opens his trunk, trying not to scream whatever the hell wants to crawl out of his suddenly tight throat.

"Yeah, he's really quite brilliant. So, um. You and Janett," he barely keeps the bitterness out of his voice. Merlin, he's been discovering new deposits of hatred in himself recently, "had some fun, too, huh?" He really can't bring himself to look at Al. Thankfully, he has a lot to rummage through in his trunk. He doesn't keep it as organized as one might think.

"Oh yes, loads of fun. No details, though, don't worry," Al chuckles.

That was a weird tone of voice there? Huh. Scorpius must be really tired, he's having troubles processing what's going on around him. Unfortunately, he doesn't have trouble figuring out why his stomach is suddenly in painful knots.

Hot shower with his favourite vanilla gel – this is what he needs right now.

* * *

Scorpius isn't sure why exactly, but the world has become weird all of a sudden. Al seems happy, and Scorpius is seriously considering starting to eat his meals in the kitchens because going to the Great Hall inevitably means having to watch Al being making public displays of affection with his– hell, Scorpius' brain can't even spit that word out. "Albus" and "girlfriend" in one sentence is the worst way to slowly kill himself.

So, even though Albus is not ignoring Scorpius _as much_ , Scorpius has an impression that most of Albus' life now consists of doing unmentionables with his girlfriend (ugh).

On the other hand, Scorpius has started kind of dating Jordan. 'Kind of' because technically they are friends, never really kissing or anything like that, however, there is this sort of unspoken agreement that, yes, Scorpius and Jordan are a thing.

Scorpius truly likes Jordan, so much so that he's certain that if Al hasn't stolen his heart already, he would be all over his new friend.

"Hey, Scorpius, look," Jordan holds out a thick bit of sausage with ketchup hair, dug out holes as eyes and a little line (presumably a tongue) poking out of the line of the mouth.

"Oulala, he's _thicc_ ," Scorpius guffaws.

Jordan grins at him and takes a generous bite. "Mine's even thiccer," he says in a not so bad imitation of French accent.

Scorpius rolls his eyes and elbows him goodnaturedly. "Pervert."

"Also known as a teenager."

Yup, Scorpius definitely knows something about that. Even such silly comments make his brain conjure juicy images and his cock twitch with interest.

But alas, all his brain can think about, ultimately, when it comes to anything sexual, is Albus, of course.

Fuck his brain.

...Or let Albus fuck the brains out of him– _No._ Stop, Scorpius. Look at Jordan! He's an awesome guy who's currently making your lonely dinner a little bit less miserable, and you obviously have to ruin it. Get a grip, man!

He's thought, fleetingly, about actually using the opportunity he has and fooling around with Jordan a bit, after all, but only because he could then imagine he's doing it with Al. Which is why he decided he'd never do it like that; it would be unfair to Jordan, and the guilt he'd feel afterwards would probably make things really awkward between him and Al.

He'd rather enjoy what he has with each of them. It's easier, in a way, even if at times he's strongly tempted to just fuck it and take that step forward.

He also feels bad for leading Jordan on, in a way. Technically, they aren't _actually_ boyfriends, but the line is extremely fine, and he can see that it's giving Jordan hope. He sees that Jordan doesn't want to push him, wants to give him space, and in that space he's waiting for Scorpius to make a move. The mere fact that the other boy is genuinely interested in him remains something he still can't quite process. But also, he doesn't think he could get over Al, at least not for the next decade or so, which is why he decides to make things clear and finally define their relationship.

"'Just friends'." Jordan nods slowly.

"Yes, I just want to be one hundred per cent fair to you, and what we've been doing... Well, I feel like by not defining it clearly, I was giving you false hope, and it's not that–" He sighs. "I know that if not for that unhealed crush, I would be more than happy to be with you. You're an awesome guy. But, I just can't control what I feel. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no, no, no, don't apologize. You said yourself you have no control over that. Which is true. And I respect that. Thank you for being honest about it." He smiles, extending a hand.

Scorpius smiles back, albeit shyly, and shakes it.

"Either way, I'm glad we're still friends. I promise to stop those silly dick jokes. I mean, they're bloody cringy anyway."

Scorpius laughs. "Still better than any of my jokes."

"Oh, come on, the one with cream wasn't that bad."

* * *

Ultimately, there Scorpius is again: drowning his dark feelings in books, one stranger than the other, as he sits in his favourite spot in the Astronomy Tower. He likes books that make him think, otherwise his mind – thus unchallenged – would only keep bringing him back to reality.

He just put down his quill and a piece of parchment that he uses to save the library books from getting covered in notes, when he hears the door opening followed by unrushed steps.

_Fantastic._

He checks the time – half an hour before curfew – and sighs, returning to the chapter he's currently working on.

"Scorp?"

Oh.

Scorpius doesn't have the reason to be shocked, even mildly, and yet he is. As though something in him forgot that Albus knows this place very well.

"Hey. I knew you were going to be here. Can I sit with you?"

"You don't have to ask, Al," Scorpius smiles up at him, mild teasing in his voice.

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Al flops down next to him and takes a curious look at the book lying open in Scorpius' lap.

"Wait, we didn't have to read about the physics of spells, right?" he sounds panicked.

Scorpius can't help but snort. "No, I just like to burden myself with useless information, remember?"

"Oh. Right. You are a right masochist, seriously."

"Not at all, it's fascinating! I was always curious why the distance between the caster and his target matters, for example, and this book explains it all in great detail! To think we wouldn't have that if not for Muggle science... Al, just think about this: we should learn that in classes, not only to better understand the mechanics of magic but imagine how many more wizards would appreciate Muggles rather than still secretly seeing them as less worthy than purebloods!"

His heart is beating excitedly, as it always does whenever he shares stuff like this with someone, and he can see agreement in the way Albus is eyeing the book.

"You can read it too, you know, it won't bite you," Scorpius smirks elbowing him gently.

"I could, but I bet you I would not understand a word. You'd have to be my teacher for that."

"With pleasure." It's not a joke, not really: Scorpius would love to get back to spending more of his spare time with Albus, and how much fun they would have, learning together!

"Just no homework, please." Al sends him a silly look.

"Why, they're half the fun!" Scorpius laughs.

He can't help it, it just comes out of his system, carrying the emotional tension that had been stifling him for Merlin knows how long.

And because he's laughing, Al soon starts laughing along, and Scorpius doesn't understand what the hell is going on, really, but he relishes it. Those wonderful, blissful moments with Al seem so rare lately, which means he wants to treat every single one like a true gem.

Because they are. They always were, to Scorpius.

"Damn, I've missed you," Al sighs, regaining his breath, and Scorpius is about to return the sentiment, a little short of breath himself, but then– what. Albus leans into Scorpius and wraps his arms around him in a heartfelt hug.

'I've been here _all the time_ ,' Scorpius wants to point out, but the onslaught of feelings makes him freeze in shock (well, not really: his arms still move to return the hug, it has become a part of his instincts, apparently).

"I know I've been, well, I've been neglecting you recently, I'm sorry, Scorp, I didn't do it on purpose, it's just kind of difficult to make sure no one from your circle feels less important... and I'm clearly not good at being a part of a bigger circle. I understand that you don't want to watch people being all couple-y, I hate that myself, and I really didn't want to pressure you because I know you don't feel comfortable around people, but then again, we could try to extend our circle and maybe Jordan wouldn't mind hanging out together, too... I just don't want to keep spending so much time without you. But also, you've been clearly upset lately, I know you, Scorp, don't even bother denying. I don't want us to ever fall apart but I wasn't sure how to solve… all that. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Oh god.

"It just happens naturally, Al, don't blame yourself. You can't magically make everyone happy, yeah? And I am definitely not going anywhere, as long as you want me. It's just... I love reading, you know me." He almost said the wrong thing; he would never want to make Al feel guilty. And saying something like, 'without you, my life is miserable and the only thing that brings me comfort is books' is bound to make Al feel guilty.

"Frankly, I was expecting you to be with Jordan right now..."

"I was." Scorpius inhales Al's scent. He could get himself drugged on it, it's so familiar, so comforting... so arousing... Easily the most wonderful scent in the world.

But it doesn't help with Scorpius' inner turmoil. Not this time. Unfortunately.

Scorpius really wishes life was just a little easier.

"Scorp, tell me something?" Al looks up and meets Scorpius' eyes.

Scorpius' heart stutters. Those eyes...

"Yeah?"

"Is Jordan... He's treating you well, right? You do feel good with him?"

Scorpius feels something in his chest tighten, and he doesn't know why. It's bitter-sweet and he covers the unpleasant part of the feeling by rolling his eyes.

"Yes, Al, I do. I told you, he's a wonderful guy. I just am not that much into spending entire days with people."

"You do that with me, though."

Scorpius shrugs, trying to appear all nonchalant and fight off a blush that is warming its way onto his cheeks. "You're my exception."

Al smiles softly. "I'm glad. Sorry for asking, too, I think I just get weird ideas sometimes..."

"I appreciate that you care about me, but there's no need to worry. I promise. I know how to take care of myself."

He says that with a gentle smile, but there's something in Al's expression that makes Scorpius think Al isn't buying it.

Perhaps he should dig deeper?

"Tell me, what exactly made you question me and Jordan? I'm not offended, just curious."

Al looks like he's weighing his options. "It's really stupid, I suppose, but on that double date... you just didn't seem to enjoy yourself as much."

Oh well, isn't Scorpius just asking for some complications. Why did he have to ask?

"I mean, it was my first date ever, I was simply stressing out. Nothing new," he jokes. _Please, don't dig deeper, please, don't dig deeper,_ Scorpius prays in his head, because he was never good at lying to Al, and with the amount of lying and hiding he'd done lately, he feels like he's nearing his limit. He's scared to even imagine what might happen if all that comes out.

And he has a nagging feeling that it will, eventually. For some reason, he can't imagine his life without telling Albus about his feelings towards him.

But also, he can't imagine his life without Albus in it.

Basically, he feels like he's stuck.

And Albus will most likely discover at some point (perhaps sooner than later) that Scorpius is not, in fact, dating Jordan. His suggestion to start hanging out together could be a good solution, _if_ Scorpius was not internally dying, pining silently for him. And if he could push those feelings away enough to be able to enjoy himself with other boys.

But alas, he is where he is.

Question is, what is he going to do about it.

"Shit. Right. And we were not helping, were we?" Albus looks pained. "Me and Janett," he clarifies at Scorpius' frown. "I could have been more engaging, I mean, we're best friends, everyone in the school knows it, and I wasn't doing anything to make you feel more comfortable."

"Oh come on, Al, it's not your obligation, best friends or not. It didn't even flow through my head to be angry at you."

Not for _that_ reason, at least.

"Alright, but still. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Al..." Scorpius shakes his head. "You worry too much."

"I might, but not unreasonably."

Oh-oh. Here comes the sullen look.

"Not always," Scorpius corrects him in a placating voice. Which earns him a wry look from Albus. Scorpius chuckles. "Now, let me read you this awesome explanation on how the particles of different spells age and what it depends on. How about that?"

Albus is making a very strange expression but eventually, he agrees. "Sure, why not. Teach me the secret knowledge, oh great master of magical particles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I had (still have :P) a tiny problem with filling a tiny plot hole, and ended up making Albus and Scorpius' conversation on the Astronomy Tower much longer than it originally was... and it turned out I still haven't found the way to connect it all to the ending of the whole story. God damn.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the following days Scorpius finds himself more at ease. It's like that night at the Astronomy Tower unlocked something in him. Like only then he realised – truly – that Albus _wants_ him still. That nothing _really_ changed, despite the fact that it seems like everything changed.

Scorpius still hates Albus' girlfriend, however. He has all the right for it, especially because since Al has started dating her, he got himself in detention three times.

And today is one of those days. Scorpius is getting drowsy over his extracurricular reading, but he sleeps better if he knows Al is safely in his bed. So he waits.

It's late at night when Albus comes back to their dorms. He looks knackered.

"You okay?" Scorpius asks when Albus' hisses, rubbing his own neck.

"A little stiff, but I'm working on it. Could be worse. I only got two hours of rewriting the labels of potion ingredients. Quite fun, if you ask me." Scorpius smirks: Albus loves Potions. "Janett, on the other hand, got a real torture: cleaning all the toilets up to the fourth floor. _Without magic_." He shivers and Scorpius is torn between politely expressing fake pity and keeping his mouth shut. He's sure his pity would drip with sarcasm, and that would certainly offend Albus... Yeah, better refrain from any comments.

There's one thought dancing in Scorpius' mind, though, that he can't quieten.

"I see. Well, would you be up for a little massage? I've been reading up on chiropractice lately..."

"Sure, I'll happily be your guinea pig."

Scorpius rolls his eyes. "I wouldn't offer you anything if I didn't know what I was doing. You don't trust me?" He pouts.

Albus makes a thoughtful face. "Hmm..."

Scorpius knows he's teasing him.

"Okay, no pressure. I just wanted to make you feel better."

"And I didn't say no." Albus grins at him and makes to lie on his front on his own bed.

"Yay! It'll feel good, you'll see." Scorpius reaches for his wand.

"It better. Or else I will never put myself under your hands again."

"Hey, I _do_ take my future Healer career seriously, thank you very much. You'll have to take your shirt off, though."

"Oooh, Scorp! Jordan would be jealous if he knew!"

Scorpius rolls his eyes again at Albus' perverted expression as the other boy pulls his shirt off and lies down again. Scorpius gently straddles him.

"Who has dirty mind now, hmm?"

As he oils his hands and starts warming Albus' tense muscles up, however, he quickly realizes just what kind of exquisite torture he signed up for. When the hell did Albus develop those back muscles?

He isn't sure if it's just his mind playing tricks on him, but at some point his movements start to feel less professional and more intimate, and Albus' breathing sounds definitely more laboured than minutes before.

Whatever the hell is going on, he will certainly have interesting dreams this night.

* * *

A few days pass and they are filled with Albus – and not only in Scorpius' thoughts or dreams. They are back to wandering around the castle between classes. Back are their casual chats during meals.

Scorpius realises very quickly that something is off here. He doesn't ask, though. It's Al's life, and as much as they're friends, that doesn't mean they have to – or will want to – share _everything_.

Scorpius understands that on a very personal level, so he's okay with it.

At least until one night, when he comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and ready to sleep, and finds Al lying on his own bed, staring mindlessly at the canopy.

"I didn't want to prod, you know, but I can see something is wrong," Scorpius says softly, walking over to his friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Albus sighs heavily, looking like he's battling with his own thoughts.

"I don't know. It's weird. I mean..." He sits up slowly, stretching. "I realised recently... a lot of things, actually, but... You probably noticed that I'm not with Janett anymore. Because... we broke up. Well, she broke up with me, to be precise." He shrugs. "I don't know if you want to talk about it," he laugh, the sound somewhat dreary, and Scorpius feels terribly guilty at the rush of joy at the news.

_It's not like he won't find himself another girlfriend soon._

_Or will suddenly reciprocate your feelings._

"I'm so sorry, Al." He sits down next to Albus on the bed. He doesn't take the physical contact further because Al then leans in. He ends up with his head on Scorpius' lap while Scorpius leans back against Albus' pillows. Like they are prone to whenever one of them is sad.

"Nah, don't be. In the hindsight, it was for the best. I was pretty much wasting my time; and neglecting you in the process. It pains to admit, but, to put it bluntly, I went after an shallow bird and lost my brain simply because, body-wise, she was sexy as hell. Personality-wise, now, that's a whole other world. But I'm just human. I'm not always, you know. In the highest of thoughts or... reasonable in every single thing I do... or as self-respecting as I should be, for that matter. Speaking of respect, I'll tell you what: girls are horrible. Some of them, at least. They charm you with their fucking looks and all that, and they think they're entitled to disrespect you just because they're women and you're a man..." He rubs his face with his hand. "Whatever. I kind of regret it, but it is what it is. Let it be a lesson: never let someone fuck with your brain just because they look like sex on legs." He sighs. "Bloody embarrassing."

Hard to disagree. Scorpius can't help but feel a shadow of satisfaction: he _was_ right about Janett, after all! His sober perception of the reality remains unaffected by jealousy!  
That's somewhat comforting.

But Albus' low mood saddens Scorpius; he wants to see the other boy smile again.

"You know, I can always come up with a nice little hex..." Scorpius suggests with feigned indifference. Oh, how therapeutic it would be to watch the bloody cunt's hair turn into snakes during breakfast... And that's only the beginning of the long list Scorpius' imagination has just created. Would serve her just right for hurting Albus.

Albus considers it for a moment. Perhaps he's imagining the different nasty scenarios, too? "I'm not opposed."

Scorpius chuckles. "I think we'd have to wait a few weeks, though. Lest she'll realise it's a revenge prank."

"It won't be that much fun then... Hmm... I'm thinking, isn't that a bit... of an overreaction on our part? Or rather, my part..."

Scorpius scoffs at him. "Albus. She hurt you. Disrespected you, as I understand." Albus' expression was affirmative. "If it was the other way around, she'd have no qualms about beating your arse for it, and you know that. Come on, man!"

"Can't disagree. But if it's supposed to be a lesson rather than a simple revenge, waiting would make it pointless."

"Good point. Let's just hope she's not capable of a decent pay off."

"Not like she has any right to do that, but some people just feel bloody entitled."

"Now, that's the Albus I know!" Scorpius applauds him.

Albus chuckles. He regards Scorpius for a few seconds. "You, in turn, have changed, though. I like it. Showing some horns, huh?"

Is it... is it pride in Albus' eyes?

Scorpius grins at his friend, trying to ignore the strange feeling that the comment evoked in him. It isn't new nor unpleasant (quite the opposite), but Scorpius is a bit scared to explore it yet. To explore what it means. It might just be too heavy. 

"About time, isn't it?"

"It is. Well, I'm glad you know how to stand your ground with other people. I'm still too bloody kind to do it properly."

Scorpius brushes the unruly strands off Albus' forehead.

"Look at the positive side: you're now smarter by this experience. And you're still the same Albus, the same awesome guy. You'll find someone worthy in no time. You'll see."

Albus shrugs, closing his eyes. The moment is so peaceful and Scorpius feels it again: the guilt. He feels guilty for his feelings for Albus. For how they exceed Albus' own, making their friendship imbalanced in that vaguely uncomfortable way.

"Thanks, Scorp. That means a lot, it really does. But I don't think I feel like dating right now. I don't know. I'll probably change my mind tomorrow or something, but 'till then... I just want to spend time with you. You're the best, you know? You really are."

_Don't. Fucking. Dare. Blushing, Scorpius!_

"I'll make sure to soak it up all I can." Scorpius pats Al on the cheek lightly.

"I swear I was trying!" Albus complains.

"I know, silly. I meant myself. I'll be like a dog, not leaving you for a moment. Get ready for it." He grins.

"Been ready." Al smirks up at him.

Scorpius hopes that the affection and admiration in his gaze is not _that_ blatant. Merlin help him.

"By the way, Hugo is throwing an open party this weekend. In that unused classroom next to the kitchens. Wanna go?"

Well, that was unexpected. Scorpius sighs. He doesn't feel like going to any parties, ever, but... how could he say 'no' to his friend? He doesn't want to add to Albus' low mood.

"I don't know what exactly you think I would be doing on a party but sure, why not." It's not like going to a party is _that_ high on Scorpius' list of real life nightmares. He'll be fine. He's doing it for Albus.

"I know you hate parties, I do too, but once in a lifetime... I think it could do us both good. You know, I could use some drunken fooling around without bloody feelings and dating and all that shit. And you should definitely go with Jordan. You guys could probably use some fun time, huh?" He winks up at him cheekily, and Scorpius just can't help it: blood rushes to his face like a tsunami wave and his cock is half-hard in a second.

Damn his hormonal teenage body.

Albus laughs. "You know I'm right!"

Oh god. Scorpius is thanking Merlin for that misinterpretation. But there's still a problem: he isn't dating Jordan. He can't go out with him to a party. Not as a couple. That would be unfair and disrespectful.

Crap.

"You'll be the death of me, Albus Severus Potter," Scorpius huffs, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Yeah, I know, I'm horrible. You'll thank me later."

* * *

Scorpius isn't so sure about that. Because so far, he experienced a true internal breakdown when Albus came out of their bathroom, all ready and smelling like a wet dream.

Fuck. Bloody hell, damn, crap, shit, fuck.

And that's only _the beginning_.

Albus shoves his hands in the pockets of his trousers. They look like someone had sex with the fabric, and not gently. Rather, passionately. Like they knew what they were doing and why, but it all got messy about halfway through.

There is a hole revealing a part of Albus' thigh.

Scorpius almost faints. Also, he might have actually made a noise.

"You ready?" He turns to Scorpius.

_To push you down onto the nearest bed, crawl on top of you, peel those damned trousers off your sexy legs and ride your cock 'till we'll be both so spent and sore we'll just collapse and fall asleep in the mess of our come and sweat?_

_Always._

Scorpius bites back a whimper, trying to compose himself, and, Merlin, if he ever had a challenge bigger than this...

"Almost," he croaks. "Give me about five minutes?"

There is no way he's going anywhere with his prick practically poking a hole in his trousers. Gods, how stupid he is. Having Albus look like _that_ – a messy, rugged, young man that is all but an invitation for sex – is the most exquisite kind of torture.

Bloody _hell_.

He doesn't think. His body leads him to relief. That's how he finds himself kneeling on the bathroom floor, cock dripping between his trembling legs as he pushes a saliva-slicked finger into his hole. He mewls as he fucks his fist, bringing himself to a blinding orgasm. Albus' scent envelops him like the sweetest tease.

Oh how he wishes that Al opened the door, found Scorpius, and pushed that delicious cock into him... Right. Against. His. Prostate– _Fuck_.

Come splatters onto the tiled floor but he's still unbearably horny. How he's going to survive this evening he has no idea.

"Alrighty, I'm done," he announces when he comes out a few minutes later, looking as nonchalant as they get.

At least he hopes he does.

"Great." Albus jumps off his bed. "I'm stressing out a bit. You okay?"

Not. At. All.

"Yes. You'll be too, trust me. I must admit, I'm surprised. Since when do you know how to look that good?"

"Oi! I'm not _completely_ oblivious when it comes to fashion and style, thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

That meets with an eye roll. "I suppose I don't need to compliment _your_ look. Your boy won't be able to take his eyes off you, eh?" He elbows Scorpius playfully as they walk out of the dormitory.

Scorpius' stomach tightens.

"Actually, I didn't tell you this because it was kind of beside the point, but we're... only friends now. Me and Jordan. So, you and I are riding the same wagon."

"Really? But you seemed so well-matched... Wait, he didn't hurt you, right?"

"No, nothing like that. It was on a completely peaceful terms. We just realised... well, that we act like a couple but without the typical couple-y things, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah... But Scorp, are you sure you want to go to that party then? If I'd known earlier, I wouldn't have asked you to come along."

"I know what I want. If I didn't want to go, I'd have told you."

Albus scrutinizes him for a few long seconds.

Scorpius sighs. "Al, if you're thinking about trying to parent me through the whole thing, I swear _I_ will be the one to take you by the hand and lead to the best looking girls in the room."

"Aren't you gay, though?"

Scorpius blinks at him. "I am. ...Why?"

"I mean, _I_ wouldn't know a good looking guy if he had crowds lining up to him, so how are _you_ supposed to know a sexy girl?"

Seriously? "Oh, Al. I love you but you're a bit slow sometimes." Scorpius pats him on the arm. "Everyone is able to tell an objectively attractive person, no matter if they're attracted to their gender or not. You won't tell me you look at Roger Flint and Dominic Rockpool and can put them at the same point on a scale of 'if I was into blokes, I'd like to shag these'?"

Albus frowns. "I mean, Dominic looks less like a gorilla and more like an approachable human being, so..."

"Exactly."

"But hey, maybe someone likes gorillamen? You never know."

"That's right. But looking at Janett, I guess it's safe to say I would indeed be able to tell what kind of female body type you find attractive."

Albus shrugs. "Whatever." Scorpius recognizes the bitterness; he probably shouldn't have mentioned Janett... "I won't need your hand anyway, so don't worry."

"I trust you on that."

Soon, they reach their destination. The classroom is, obviously, charmed to be soundproof; as soon as they step through the door, they are deafened by the loud music mixed with all sorts of human noises.

"What?" Scorpius half-yells to Albus.

"I said, this is fucking wild!"

"Are we going back?"

"Do you want to?"

_Yes, please._

Scorpius shakes his head.

"Then we aren't! Do you see any cute guys?"

_Now that I've seen you? In that outfit, on top of that? Everyone seems boring, at best._

"Not yet. You?"

"I think I already have a few targets... Look, they're dancing in three!" He points with his chin towards three rather boldly dressed girls chattering and giggling with each other.

Scorpius really doesn't like the way Albus' eyes shine as he observes them.

"Maybe they're lesbians?" Low chances, but you never know.

"Or bi? That would be hot." He's practically jumping on the spot. He does that when he's anxious, but also when he's excited. Scorpius assumes right now he's experiencing both.

He rolls his eyes. "I see you're already feeling the vibe. Go have fun, Black Panther."

Al gives him a sideways look at the nickname. "I'll just take it as it is. Are you sure, though?"

"You didn't come here to dance with _me_ , now did you?" Scorpius arches his brow at him.

Al scratches his head, looking around the room. "I mean, no..."

"Exactly. Go ahead, I'll be fine. 'm a big boy." He pats himself on the chest, trying to appear confident although internally he's dying from anxiety.

"Right. Just, please don't drink too much, okay? I mean, no offence but you don't look very... scary, and you know what kind of things happen in places like that..."

Scorpius elbows him gently. "Yes, dad, I'll be safe."

Al salutes him playfully and Scorpius' insides tighten in longing.

"Better focus on your own needs, mister Potter," he drawls. And when Albus still doesn't move, he decides, despite himself, to help him a little. "Come ooon," he pushes Al playfully toward the three girls.

"I told you something about that, Scorp!" Al complains.

Scorpius shakes his head, watching his friend as he makes his way (that looks a tad awkward, if Scorpius is being completely honest; but if it doesn't make Al even more cute...) towards the trio of girls.

With pursed lips and a deepening scowl he watches the four of them interact. He is somewhat proud of Albus for establishing his place in the social ground of Hogwarts, but his chest _hurts_.

Oh, what the hell, he might as well make a use of this opportunity and have some fun himself. And everything seems easier with a drink...

Soon, though, he finds himself having another one.

And then another.

And another.

Perhaps it's too much. But who cares. Scorpius only cares that he doesn't have to experience agony every time his eyes land on Albus. Because as much as the sight of the other boy always warms his heart, the effect is all ruined if there is a girl in close proximity with Al.

And as this is a bloody _party_ , well... how could one expect anything but that?

At some point, the anger turns into something else. Something that wants the closest it can get to what Scorpius truly desires.

Is it desperation, perhaps?

It pushes him off the wall he has been awkwardly fidgeting by and on the search for a distraction.

He soon finds one. The black haired guy Scorpius can't quite recognize but he seems nice enough. He moves well, and Scorpius' body is _aching_. He can't get the love and affection he wants with a random guy in a messy grinding, obviously, but apparently this is the best he can count for.

"Bloody hell, Malfoy! If I'd known you'd be up for a grope, you would be here with me much sooner. I love how you move..."

Scorpius' cock reacts at the words, but in his mind there is a battle going on. He likes the attention of another man – fuck, _of course_ he likes it – but it rings empty and hollow in his heart. He tries to imagine Albus in the place of the other guy, but the smell doesn't fit. The voice doesn't have that same deep, warm quality. The touch isn't as friendly.

It is all _predatory_.

He likes it. He hates it.

He's done with the eternal inner conflict. _Fuck it_ , he decides, and lets himself get lost in the sensations.

As the alcohol completely rules over his system, his dark thoughts and heavy feelings are swepped under the rug, leaving only a hedonist. He's nothing more but his senses now.

And the touch is the most hungry one of the five, the most depraved. He relishes in the hardness of the other boy's cock, rubs his own clothed erection against it, wishing that his clothes were off. His hand sneaks between their bodies, granting his wish, like this is all a dream and his subconscious leads him to the long-craved release. He shivers when the upper half of his penis is released.

"Good boy, look at you. Want me to suck your sexy cock, handsome?"

But, the people...– Screw the people.

"Sounds brill... But I don't want to come yet. Show me your cock? Want to feel how hard you are for me," Scorpius rasps, rubbing his own manhood and shooting lazy looks around the room. No one pays them attention.

Very good. Fuck them all.

"You look fantastic like that, baby," the brunet watches Scorpius touch himself in the relatively small space between their bodies, undoing his own trousers enough to free his own dick.  
It is dark and thick, surrounded by a thick patch of black hair.

Scorpius' mouth waters, his heartbeat quickens; his dick pulses. He wants to kneel in front of the other guy and suck that yummy cock, let him stretch his throat as he tries to swallow the entire length...

The brunet presses their hips together, taking Scorpius' hand off his erection.

Scorpius hisses. "Oh yeah, oh," he moans, thrusting faster.

_Albus' cock. It's Albus' cock, so hard for him, so ready to shove inside Scorpius' tight, virgin hole, and fuck him until he spills himself all over, and then Albus will fill him with his own sweet cum, will bathe Scorpius' hole in it..._

"Fuck... Oh yeah..." he pants, throwing his head back helplessly as wave after wave of painful pleasure almost takes away his consciousness for a few amazing seconds.

"Mmm, just like that... Damn, so sexy." The brunet presses him further against the wall, rutting wildly, slick from Scorpius' fresh cum.

"Why don't we go somewhere private and you fuck me?" Scorpius suggests, watching the cum-covered head of the brunet's cock with pure hunger. To have that shiny knob breach him, push into him, ram into him...

_Albus thrusting behind him, dragging his hard cock in and out of Scorpius' needy channel, rubbing against that sweet, brilliant spot inside him..._

"Hmm, I don't know... Should I? I have a girlfriend. But you're so sexy; it'd be a shame to waste a chance with such a hot guy."

What the hell? Did Scorpius hear correctly? Or was it some bloody joke?

"Oh fuck off." He pushes past him, doing his trousers hastily as he makes his way to the nearest window.

If that was supposed to be a part of the dirty talk, it was not fortunately chosen. Considering how close to home it hit for Scorpius.

 _Of course._ Stupid girlfriends everywhere, ruining his happiness.

_Ruining his chance with Albus..._

Scorpius releases a shaky breath. He's still horny. Still needy.

Still lonely.

And bloody angry.

He doesn't know what to do with himself; he simply collapses onto the nearest empty armchair, lets the thrumming beat of the music pulse in his body, quieten his thoughts. To leave without Albus doesn't feel right... But Albus deserves some fun, especially after his recent heartbreak. 

What should Scorpius do now, though?

He sweeps his eyes over the crowded room until they land on the very familiar table filled with alcohol beverages.

...Oh well, might as well do. He'll have a hungover anyway. Besides, this armchair he's sitting in is located in the corner of the room where no one pays him attention, and Scorpius quickly realises he doesn't like that. Not right now, when he's hot and full of social energy.

He doesn't quite know what is going on anymore, he just knows that the buzzing of the music around him mixes with the buzzing of the alcohol inside him, and he's all but swimming through the crowd.

Until he spots the most gorgeous boy he'd ever seen.

He has fantastic messy black hair that Scorpius longs to comb his sweaty fingers through. His face is a delight: beautiful eyebrows, sweet lips, adorable frown, sharp green eyes sweeping over the room...

Wait. It's Albus.

Damn. What happened? Is it the alcohol in Scorpius' system, or the fact that Al looks like he has just had woke up from a very pleasant dream? He looks like a god. Gorgeous. Tantalizing. Worshipable.

Fuckable.

...Fuck. Scorpius is hard. Again.

"Ally!" he exclaims, jumping him, because every cell in his body screams at him to get as close to the other boy as possible, to show everyone that he belongs to _Scorpius_.

Albus almost topples over as Scorpius clings to him, burying his nose in Al's neck. The scent makes him shiver and he moans softly.

Merlin, he wants to kiss this boy. Right here, right now.

"You okay?" he inquires, angling his head to stare at Albus. "Your groping partners treating you well, right? Because if not," he growls, "tell me the names and I'm going right up to them with a nice set of very _creative_ curses."

Huh, that's a funny face on Albus.

"I'm beyond glad to have such a devoted guard," he gently peels Scorpius off himself; Scorpius obeys, albeit unwillingly, "but no worries, I'm fine. More than fine, actually. This was a good idea to come here, after all. Are _you_ okay, though? How many drinks have you had?"

Scorpius shrugs, leaning into Al. He can't resist. He's doing a brilliant job of keeping his instincts at bay anyway, because, truly, all he wants right now is to get naked and sweaty with the other boy.

"Probably too much. I might end up throwing up on you, accidentally. Please, excuse me in advance. I'll try to avoid that. I like your clothing," he remarks, happy when Al winds his arms around him. It feels more protective than anything but Scorpius chooses to believe that life is closer to his dreams than it actually is. "It's lovely on you. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to rock it like you do. My shoulders aren't that broad..."

How he loves those broad shoulders. The way he can fold himself a bit and have Albus around himself like that, so manly and strong. Even if Al is still far away from his father in that regard.

"You're shapely, mate, don't complain."

Scorpius laughs. He laughs in Albus' chest and feels like he's going to lose it from want. And love. And joy.

He's just happy to be with Albus.

"I love you," he breathes.

"Love you too, you dork."

It's nothing more than platonic expression of love. Scorpius knows that. But, just in this moment, he chooses to believe it means more. In his intoxicated mind, those words hold fire.

He wants to burn.

Somehow, he finds himself straddling Al's lap, and he realises the other boy has pulled him onto the nearest armchair. _So many armchairs this evening..._

He sighs and snuggles into his friend. He smells like a party.

"I like that smell on you. It suits you," Scorpius mumbles, feeling his cock twich for attention between them. He smiles. He feels so sexy like that, with Al. Al's cock so close to his own... It's not hard, unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately? It could only possibly be hard for a girl, and that is the last thing Scorpius wants to ever think about), but nonetheless arousing. Why hasn't he sat like that ever before? It feels brilliant.

"Albus." He has his face almost pressed to Al's neck; that way they can hear each other without yelling all the time. There's something rather... intimate about that. Scorpius can't quite put his finger on it.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me something?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever leave me. Okay? No matter how many girlfriends you'll have... I don't want to lose you ever again."

"Come on, Scorp, as if I could." He ruffles Scorpius' hair.

Scorpius closes his eyes.

"I need you. You know? I never tell you this, as in, for real. There's this secret... Do you like secrets, Ally?"

"Um. I mean, if you feel the need to hide something, I totally respect that, but..."

"I wish you knew the real me. We're like... best buddies. Right? But I don't know. I have so many secrets. I wish you could..." he traces his fingers up and down Al's arm. He notices that he can actually feel lean muscles. He shivers as heat bursts at the base of his spine, "take them off."

"Take _what_ off?"

"The covers. All the covers. You do that all the time, you know? In my mind. Do you think my imagination is far from the real you? The real Albus?" He raises his head, now looking up at Al. "You've been so mysterious lately. I don't like this. I want to _know_ you, inside and out... What are you thinking right now?"

Albus is biting his lip, not looking at Scorpius, and Scorpius finds himself completely entranced. He just can't take his eyes off those beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous lips...

Merlin help him, but he _throbs_ to have them on his cock.

He almost sobs with want. It's downright obscene how much he wants Albus. Right now. All the time.

"I'm wondering... I don't really hide anything from you, Scorp. You've been the one who had been avoiding me before. You probably don't even know what you're talking about, do you?" He smiles softly at Scorpius. "You're drunk, mate."

Scorpius' heart clenches. "How can you say I don't know what I'm saying? I know very well, Ally. You're just a silly boy. But don't worry, it's cute."

"Is it?" Al shuffles in his seat, sighing, and Scorpius gets a feeling he might be uncomfortable.

He chooses not to question. He _wants_ Al to feel comfortable with him... But how does one do it?

"Yes. It is. I think so. You can trust me. I'd never lie to you. And hiding the truth is not _lying_ , technically speaking."

"What?"

"What? I didn't say anything. Shhh, Al." Scorpius presses a finger against Al's lips. His cock throbs longingly. He shuffles a bit, turning himself on even more with the teasing friction, and he's torn between wanting to give Al space and pressing closer. " _It's a secret_."

The way Albus is eyeing him – very much confused, perhaps a little bit alarmed – is making Scorpius wish he didn't have any secrets. Or didn't have to have them.

"Okay. Alright. Well, I think I'll go back already. I'm getting tired. How about you?"

"Mmmh," Scorpius whines, pressing himself against Al, placing his arms on the headrest on both sides of Al's head, trapping him effectively. He likes that position. "I haven't had my fun yet."

His breathing is shallow, his bulge presses into Al's stomach, his nostrils are full of Al's scent. He could come like this. He's so bloody horny... And it feels so good, even if there is not really a way for him to relieve the tension.

"I can go if you play with me," he muses.

He can almost feel Al's heart beating. It is so fast. Hot, scarlet blood. Just like Al's lips, red from biting, swollen from kissing.

Scorpius licks his own lips, imagining that it is his doing, not some stupid girl's. No one deserves Albus. Scorpius knows the other boy like no one else in the world. He knows how to take care of him. He _loves_ him. Truly.

Why can't he have him? Life is so bloody unfair.

"What kind of game?"

Al's voice sounds... normal. Scorpius has a feeling that he didn't quite get the hint.

"Come on." Scorpius pulls him by the hand. "I'll show you. But not here. This place is obnoxiously sticky. And much too loud."

Scorpius pushes his way through the mass of bodies and sounds, stumbling a couple of times with a careless "sorry!" on his lips; Al following him close.

But as soon as they are out of the room, Al takes the lead. With his fingers wrapped around Scorpius' bony wrist he leads him all the way down to the Slytherin's dormitory. Scorpius doesn't complain: that's exactly where he wants Al.

He wants a comfy bed, naked skin, thrusting hips, and Albus, Albus, Albus.

Oh, it feels so good to be free! He laughs, spreading his arms, dancing with the dust as they walk through the mostly empty castle. He stumbles, collides with a wall, and curses through his own laughter. Albus shakes his head at him, but he's smiling, too.

Scorpius melts a little bit at that.

"You think I'd be a nice puddle?"

"I suppose."

"You're so taciturn, Al."

"Sorry. I'm just really tired."

"Do I tire you?" Scorpius asks, suddenly sad.

"You most definitely don't."

"Are you sad?"

"A bit. I miss my bed. Haven't seen it a whole day."

"Beds are lovely," Scorpius agrees eagerly. "We really underestimate them, don't you think? We take them for granted. What if one day they disappear? What if... Albus!" He jumps in front of his friend suddenly, making Albus jump in turn. "What if some bad wizard will create a spell to make all beds in the world disappear? That would be so tragic..."

"Scorp, don't cry, it's not real. No one would waste their time on that."

Scorpius sniffles. "Why not? It's an effective way to badly affect everyone's health!"

"Well, yeah, but no one thinks like that. You know?"

"I have a potential to be a dark wizard..." Scorpius gasps. "Al, please, don't be scared, I was only joking! No one will ever hear about this horrible idea, I swear on Pepper Imps!"

"I trust you."

"Thank you. That really means a lot. Just for the record, I think you would be a lovely puddle. Deep and... perhaps a bit sharp around the edges. But very smooth to the touch. Maybe... orange? What do you think?"

"Sounds accurate. I would add a strong campfire smell."

"Nice one. Smell is very important as well. You know, if you close your eyes, you could focus on the other senses much better... Do you want to try?"

"Is it that game you wanted to play?"

"It can be."

"Well then, we can play it. But not until we're back in the dorms."

"Why, you're such a spoil sport sometimes." Scorpius pouts.

"Are you really going to complain that I don't want you to stumble again and hurt yourself?" Al shoots him a look, grabbing his wrist.

"Oh Aaaalll," Scorpius whines, trying to free himself although his efforts are obviously half-arsed.

"I'm bored. This castle is so dark during night, you can barely see all the curiosities," Scorpius complains. He started dancing around Al as they went, and bless his friend for his patience, really.

"What kind of curiosities?"

"Like the tiny stains on the walls where the students squashed spiders and stuff, most likely."

"Poor spiders and stuff."

"I know right," Scorpius sighs sadly. "But it's fascinating– think about it, Al! So much happens at every moment of life, and here we are, barely a tiny speckle in this giant puzzle that is the universe..."

"Too tiny for the huge universe to give a shit."

"You are so truly brutal in expressing your opinions. I love that for you."

They step through the entrance to the almost empty Slytherin Common Room.

"Hi, Dave," Scorpius cheerfully greets a fifth year who's sat by the fireplace, scribbling on the huge piece of parchment spread out on the floor.

The other boy raises his head and gives him a confused look. "Hello."

Scorpius thoroughly enjoys the cold brick walls as they walk through the corridor leading to their dorm.

"Why are you molesting the walls?" Al asks casually.

"They're sooo cold... and I'm hot." He sighs, flattening himself against another wall. "Help. Help me, Ally."

"I'm afraid I don't know how I could do that."

"It's actually very easy, look..." Scorpius pulls off his jumper. "Merlin, so much better..." he moans. "I can breathe now! These jumpers are _hell_."

"So you say now. Tomorrow you won't want to go out of bed without putting one on."

Scorpius laughs. "Shut up, you smart-cheek."

"We both know I'm right. Now, come on."

"But I'm hoooot..."

In the end, Al has to pretty much peel him off the wall as they reach the door.

"Come on, mate, you can shuck all the clothes you want _when_ you'll get in your bed."

"Shower?" Scorpius asks, twirling around the room, using the bed columns for support, since he is feeling somewhat dizzy.

"Probably a bad idea, considering you constantly stumble over your feet. You'll shower tomorrow morning, 'kay?"

"Damn it," Scorpius scowles at no one in particular, spreading himself out on his bed. He purrs happily: so soft and cool...

"Alright." Al says, sitting next to him. "Now we can play that game of yours."

Scorpius takes Al's hand and presses it to his face. He inhales deeply and immediately wishes he didn't: the scent isn't helping his problem with high body temperature.

"You smell like friend. I like it. You could be my personal aromatherapy."

"Hmm, I might consider this. What would the payment be?"

"Everything. This," he sneaks under Albus' arm and snuggles into him, arms wrapped around Al's middle, "is worth everything. You're priceless, Ally. Not for sell. I'll never let anyone else buy you from me. Never."

Al laughs fondly, hugging him back. "You're silly."

"That's just appearances. Beware, Al!" He looks up at him with wide eyes. "There're so many bad people who want to separate us... You are my treasure! And thus, I shall protect you with my life! I promise I won't leave your side! I know! Can I mark you?"

"The hell?" Albus snorts, ruffling his hair. "Merlin's pants, Scorp. Are you sure you've only drank alcohol? No weird potions or anything?"

"I'm not silly," Scorpius grumbles, mildly offended.

"Of course you aren't."

"So..." Scorpius shoots up, suddenly finding himself sitting in Al's lap. "You didn't say 'no', right? That means I can?" he purrs.

Albus frowns.

"Can what?"

"Mark you."

Albus sighs. "You know, I think–"

And that's it. The world disappears. Language disappears. Inhibitions disappear.

All that's left are Albus' lips. Warm and slightly chapped and perfect.

Brilliant.

Exquisite.

Magical.

Scorpius thrums with excitement. He moves against Al, like fire against a stone.

A _stone_. Stiff, cold, unmoving. Unresponsive.

His heart drops.

"You don't like this?" Scorpius' voice cracks as he pulls away. He backs away, eyes on Al's face that Scorpius is not able to read.

Fucking hell. What has he _done_?

"I just don't know..." Al takes a deep breath. "What are you doing, Scorp? Fuck, we shouldn't be– You're drunk. Here." He jumps off the bed and comes back a few seconds later with a small bottle.

Scorpius takes it from him and drinks the contents, not even caring. He just wants to sleep.

Last thing he feels are gentle hands guiding his head onto his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started posting the chapters, the entire fic was almost complete, save for one little scene, but that's what has came out of it so far. Eh.
> 
> Sorry it took so long. Also, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but I got some new ideas that work much better for the plot than my original one, so... At least it's more fun that way.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic serves to point out **something in the Cursed Child that most people, apparently, do not notice. And that is: Scorpius' very open aversion towards fish.** Now, 'fish' is, in a way, a slang for female genitalia (i.e. fish pie, fish crack, fish mittens. https://urbanthesaurus.org/synonyms/female%20genitalia). So, if we interpret that as an instance of the authors trying to hint at something without being too obvious about it (and, as we all know, in this still very much heteronormative world it is rather risky to include explicit homosexual relationships in a production, especially such wildly popular one as "Harry Potter"), it becomes quite obvious what exactly the authors were trying to hint at. That being, Scorpius is, at the very least, not attracted - neither sexually, nor, I guess we can assume, romantically - to females. He might thus be attracted to males or to no one, and so, he might be either homosexual or asexual. But - canonically - not heterosexual nor bisexual.
> 
> We weren't given such hints regarding Albus, as far as I remember. So in this fic I decided to do the opposite of what everyone, for some reason, does, and make him bisexual.
> 
> It seems like many variations of 'what the boys' characterizations can mean' have been explored by the fandom, except for that one little thing. So, here we go, a lil' fic to fill that gap.
> 
> **TL;DR: In the Cursed Child Scorpius hates fish. Fish is basically a slang for female genitalia. Which means that, canonically, Scorpius is not attracted to females.**


End file.
